What My 12-Year-Old Self Taught Me About Leadership

Lessons from the Latchkey Generation that still shape the way I lead today.

Introduction: Leadership Didn’t Start in the Boardroom

Most people assume leadership is something you learn in a training, a promotion, or a title.But for many of us—especially those of us from the Latchkey Generation—leadership didn’t start in a corner office.

It started in silence.In responsibility we didn’t ask for.In long nights where we had to figure it out before we had language for what we were doing.

That was me at 12 years old.

The Reality of Growing Up Alone

Every two weeks, my mom would drive two and a half hours back to where we used to live and stay with my grandparents for a few days. She was serving her electrolysis clients, doing everything she could to keep her business alive.

I was at home. Alone.Surrounded by trees. Eight miles from the nearest town. A mile down a dirt road. A quarter-mile back in the woods.

Being an only child, there were no siblings. Honey, my golden retriever, wasn’t allowed in the house. And while family friends checked in from time to time, it was mostly just me—figuring things out and pretending I wasn’t scared.

I got up, got dressed, went to school, came home, locked the doors, did my homework, made dinner, and braced myself for whatever came next—whether that was a storm, a power outage, or a strange car pulling into the driveway.

At the time, I didn’t call it resilience. I didn’t call it leadership.I just called it normal.

The Latchkey Generation Wasn’t Just About Keys—It Was About Pressure

I knew I was part of the Latchkey Generation. But my experience wasn’t just a few hours alone after school. It was full nights. Full weekends. And years of learning to function independently in the background while pretending everything was fine.

What I didn’t realize then—but fully understand now—is that I was being shaped into a leader. One who didn’t always have the option to ask for help. One who got things done, quietly and consistently, because I had to.

And I’ve carried those lessons into every room I’ve walked into since—boardrooms, keynotes, coaching sessions, and beyond.

The 3 Leadership Lessons That Started at 12

1. Leadership Isn’t About Being the Loudest. It’s About Showing Up

At 12, no one gave me gold stars for getting myself to school or locking the door behind me. No one applauded when I made dinner or kept it together in the middle of nowhere.

But I showed up anyway.

Real leadership isn’t about being the most vocal or the most visible.It’s about consistency.It’s about reliability.It’s about showing up even when no one’s watching—and especially when it’s hard.

2. Self-Trust Isn’t a Mindset. It’s a Muscle

I didn’t feel confident. I didn’t know what I was doing half the time. But I made decisions and took action, because no one else was going to do it for me.

That’s what most people miss—especially high-achievers.They think confidence has to come first.

But what comes first is the decision to move forward without a guarantee.To believe in yourself just enough to try.To act, adjust, and keep going.

That’s self-leadership. And over time, that builds the foundation for every bold decision you’ll ever make.

3. Your Voice Is Your Power. Even When It’s Shaking

Growing up independent made it hard to ask for help. I didn’t want to seem weak, incapable, or like I couldn’t handle it.

That pattern followed me into adulthood and even into leadership roles.I stayed quiet—even when I had something to say.

I had to unlearn that.And now I help others do the same.

Because silence might feel safe, but it costs you clarity, visibility, and impact.Leadership without voice isn’t strength. It’s self-abandonment.

You may have people saying your name in rooms you’re not in—but your voice and presence still need to be heard in the rooms you are in. You were put there for a reason. You were put there to lead.

If You’ve Been Navigating Alone, You’re Not Behind

If you’ve been navigating change alone, quietly, or invisibly you’re not behind.You’re not broken.And you’re definitely not the only one who feels this way.

You’re probably just early.And it’s time to stop apologizing for that.

Ready to Reconnect with the Leader You’ve Always Been?

I’m preparing to launch the beta round of The Clarity Room™—a 4-week coaching experience designed to help high-achieving professionals stop second-guessing and start leading themselves with courage, clarity, and conviction.

This isn’t about becoming someone else.It’s about returning to yourself—with strategy and support.

If this article spoke to you, I’d love to invite you in.

📩 Email me the word CLARITY or DM me on linkedin to get early access details.

And if you’re not quite ready for that step, follow along here. I’ll be sharing more insights and stories to help you lead from exactly where you are.